June 14,2011

I had a vision..not a literal one. But that which is a hope and a promise. Just yesterday, I listened to the stories of wonderful evangelists like Lake and Evan Roberts. John Lake was an enigmatic person who had a heavy anointing on him. He earned a lot of money in a very short period of time..He already had a calling on his life. But then after he became rich, He had to leave all his wealth behind to follow his calling to Africa..with not even a penny in his pocket. Now how was he supposed to go all the way to another continent crossing an entire ocean without any money, leave alone have enough for accomodation! And with family and 3 kids..thats another thing to think about. But God provided him with a person who met him at the ticket counter and told Lake that God had asked him to give him a certain amount of money to help him. Now, I haven't read this, so check with the accuracy for his bio for facts.

What blew my mind was
the part where he relied so much on God that he didnt even carry a penny in his pocket..not knowing what lies ahead. I guess things that we dont follow ourselves, or find it hard to follow tends to apparently surprise us. I had considered money as a means of living. I still find it hard to accept a life without money. But life is made with God as means, not money..thats one thing that the Lord has been working about in my life. He wants me to rely on Him entirely, and not idolize anything.
          For the past couple of years, thats the one thing that I have been struggling with and yes, I also believe thats what He has been teaching me about. I am grateful that He has been patient with me. Its been like this - its not like I dont have money. I do, but as soon as it comes into my hands, it slips off like sand from them. No, I am not a reckless spendthrift. I have learned in time how to manage money. But what little pocket money that remains goes into buying for the entire family. 2 years ago, that was a problem. I would get stressed, annoyed, irritated, angry and extremely upset with God for not blessing me financially and with my loved ones for not understanding nor supporting me. But in time, God has taught and is still teaching me not to get upset and discouraged when crunch time comes. But to be expectant of Him. and ask Him. Now, I dont get upset that all the (little money that does remain) goes into family fun and buying chicken for the week. I am happier sharing. I do wish I could save more for work than I can possibly now and a little for myself. But I cant right now. Thats a part of my 'training'. And I know God is well aware of whats going on. And He knows the desires of my heart and my dreams. I believe God is going to prosper us beyond what we could ever imagine but I know this much for sure, that He will not deprive us of any beneficial thing.

                   Work is going slow coz of legalities. And fi is sick for a while now...I pray all will be well. He provides for us...God I mean :)

                Oh yes, the vision I was talking about was me praying to God without feeling shameful or shy about it, not being awkward about my faith in Christ, about praying without a care to distract me, just praying..pouring my heart out, having the wonderful presence of God with me in His Spirit, just to and fro conversations with the Father..nothing better in the world. Nothing better in the world...

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