The 'f' word!

No..this is certainly not about Gordon Ramsay's hypertensive show and neither is this about any particular slang that has become too popular with the kids these days, for all the wrong reasons.."this is about food, of course" but more than that - its about that much dreaded term - FAT.

I have been a chubby kid almost my entire life..being on the heavier side was never a pleasant experience. Be it relatives or friends, I have faced the music as any plump kid has. But the person who has been hardest on me is myself. I am quite a critic..bordering on the negative as some would call me. So what if you are a little fat, you might say..but there is a list of things that really makes it harder to accept myself the way I am -

  1. I cant wear what I really like..most of my choices in clothes and some absolute favourites have been those that would fit a slimmer frame.
  2. Being "apple-shaped" really doesn't let me pick tee shirts of any kind. So try as I may, the hippest I can be or come close to is a behenji in a kurta and stretch jeans. 
  3. It upsets me whenever I pass by the clothes isle. I don't even wander into the casual clothes stores in the commercial streets of the city anymore. I have very much restricted myself to the mall..where I can still manage to scour up clothes of my size.
  4. Each trip to the coffee house and back is a guilty pleasure...I'd want to omit the word 'guilty' out, you know.
  5. Being big boned adds more to the sunken smile. So, I'll lose weight but ya, I wont look 18!
  6. Its hard to exercise. period.
  7. It bangs up my confidence pretty bad.
  8. People don't respect me for who I am....well, stupid people, right??
  9. My bones hurt and I am beginning to snore..
  10. Beats my metabolism down. Ya, I heard ya, Dr. Oz!
Alls not so bad. I have a couple of friends who support me in this, and understand me.. caring enough to cut out the soda just coz I cant drink. But there are so many in the world who look at obese people and just hurl..I can say that, coz I have been among those. Not to that effect but ya, I have been very judgemental when it comes to looks. I guess I needed to learn a lesson.. coz I have been among those people who look at fat people and think, "how hard is it to just throw away the burger and exercise??". I have realized - VERY. Just as any addiction, food traps you and more than that - a sedentary lifestyle. Its hard to get on the treadmill and work it out coz the moment I get on it, I reckon how much weary and beat I get once I am off it in 10 minutes.
        Humans are stubborn animals. God has given us an instinct to follow which tells us when to cut it and when to actually eat.. that's why its called - HUNGER! We are so attuned to the fads around us and the blasting music in our ipods that when it comes to our instincts, we are completely tuned out! 
     I don't want to make any resolutions, man..this is one rule that's broken more than any traffic signal in the world. I KNOW resolution making..I am the duchess of the resolution making industry! I am not aiming at anything. That's when I have won - when I just put my head down and charged like a bull..whether it comes to work or whatever. Taking it one day at a time is good. Trusting in God and marching straight is the answer for me. No 5 kg a month or 2 dress sizes down by Christmas...nope. none of those for me! But I am gonna chart my progress. I am gonna eat good food, drink healthy and exercise. And at the end of each week, the charts will show. Fingers crossed...eeeee:) !!!

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